Funerals are always delicate occasions, where every word and gesture holds weight. When attending one, it’s natural to want to offer comfort in a meaningful way, often through a small monetary gift to the bereaved family. Still, many of us find ourselves unsure about how much to give or what’s considered appropriate.
While it may feel uncomfortable to discuss financial matters during such an emotional time, donating money is a common and heartfelt way to express your condolences. If you’re feeling uncertain, this guide will help you understand the traditions surrounding funeral contributions and how to offer your support with sincerity and care.
Why Offer Money During Bereavement?
In Singapore, it’s customary to make a monetary contribution when attending a funeral, a tradition that has endured for centuries. Commonly known as “pek kim” or “bai jin” (白金), which translates to “white gold,” this donation is typically placed in a small white envelope, symbolizing respect and solemnity. The purpose of this gesture is to help ease the financial burden on the grieving family, covering costs such as the casket, cremation, and other related expenses.
How Much Bai Jin Should You Give at a Funeral?
Although it is a tradition to offer bai jin (funeral donations) during a time of bereavement, deciding how much bai jin to give can be difficult. The amount of money you give depends on your relationship with the deceased or their family.
If you were especially close, you might consider offering a larger sum to demonstrate your support. However, there are no strict rules; what matters most is the thought behind your gesture. Give within your means, and rest assured that any contribution, big or small, will be appreciated during this difficult time.
In line with Chinese customs, condolence money is typically given in odd-numbered amounts such as S$30, S$50, S$70, or S$100, as odd numbers are associated with mourning. This is in contrast to even numbers, which are considered more appropriate for celebratory events.
Additionally, always place your contribution in a white envelope, as red packets are reserved for joyous occasions. When in doubt, observe what others are doing or ask a family member for guidance.
Other Ways to Contribute to a Funeral
While donating money is a common and customary practice at funerals in Singapore, they are not compulsory, especially if you’re not financially able. If you’re coming up short, simply attending the funeral and offering your respects is still a meaningful way to contribute.
Alternatively, you may choose to give a condolence gift in place of money. Thoughtful options include condolence flowers, flower wreaths, or flower stands.
It’s also important to note that some families may choose not to accept condolence money at all. In such cases, they may direct the funds to a charity of their choice as a way to honor the deceased’s memory and spread kindness.
Honoring the Departed Through Thoughtful Contributions
Whether you give a small amount of money or simply offer a kind word, what matters most is your sincerity and respect. If you ever find yourself uncertain about what’s appropriate, it’s perfectly okay to ask or observe what others are doing. Funerals are about offering comfort, standing in solidarity, and honoring the life of someone who has passed.
Ang Brother Funeral Services understands how overwhelming these moments can be, especially when it comes to following traditions, customs, and donation etiquette across different types of funerals. That’s why we not only offer professional and affordable funeral services, but also gently guide families and guests through the process of making appropriate contributions and following customs during difficult times.
We’re here to ensure that every farewell is handled with care, compassion, and the dignity your loved one deserves.
