If you are attending a Taoist wake to pay your respects, the most important thing is a calm, respectful presence. You do not need to know every ritual. A few simple guidelines will help you feel at ease.
Dress modestly and simply. Wear white, black or subdued, dark colours. Avoid bright or festive colours, especially red, which is associated with celebration. Keep clothing plain and cover the shoulders and knees.
The immediate family wears mourning garments, traditionally in sackcloth or plain white, with the exact garment and colour reflecting each person’s relationship to the deceased. These are provided and arranged as part of the funeral, so the family does not need to worry about them.
Offer your condolences quietly to the family. You may be invited to offer incense at the altar; follow the family’s lead, and it is fine to simply bow with respect if you are unsure. During the prayers, remain quiet and calm. A small condolence gift of money (帛金, bai jin) in a white envelope is customary.
Above all, your quiet presence and support matter far more than performing any ritual perfectly.
Wear white, black or dark, subdued colours. Avoid bright colours and especially red, which is associated with celebration and is not appropriate at a funeral.
Offer your condolences to the family quietly, follow their lead if invited to offer incense at the altar, and remain calm during the prayers. A white envelope with condolence money (帛金) is customary.
No. As a guest, a respectful and quiet presence is what matters. Simply follow the family’s lead, and a bow of respect is always appropriate.
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